Unstoppable

After the recently tabulated and posted list of failures for all the subjects in 3rd year, my caution to tailor my study and managing habits has heightened. I'm scared for all the pressure that's put on my head. It's been always stuck in my head that there is a probability that i might fail for whatever reason - and i can't afford to. I think it's way too early to be afraid. I don't know. There is more than a classroom full of people i know who are going to be my batchmates next year. My mind is actually in a rattle right now and my train of thought is scattered.

Main point is, I will not fail because I know I can handle the subjects that will deprive me of normal amounts of sleep and hours of talking to my dearest. #2015

Short-Lived Satisfaction

There is nothing more tempting than seeing a bunch of desperate girls dancing to entice and influence the secretion of boys' sex hormones. You see, neural stimuli affects the release of testosterone and adrenaline....(i know you're the least bit interested). Last night, I incidentally attended an open party; and like any other, low-spirited girls (assuming from their color-coded bracelet glow sticks that indicate their single status) - which is totally utterly inconspicuous of their dejected feelings, dance their hearts out in hope for a slow dance or maybe a grind with a stranger. In my opinion and experience, girls dance to purposely erase their memories of their special someone and replace it with someone's who they don't know for greater effect. Boys, on the other hand, with or without the aid of courage-liberating alcohol, ask to dance with girls for two reasons - the first being the same of the girls. The second is simple, because they want to fuck.  

The entirety of the whole place is disgusting with hired dancers on the stage, nonchalant smoking on the dance floor and obvious desperation of girls. All this is but a joke. The short-lived satisfaction that spurs out from the lips and tongues of two strangers makes you feel alive. I should know. The moment before they sleep they wish to relive that moment in their minds the boy's arms around their waists, their fingers intertwined with each other and their face side by side. They feel hopeless because such affection has a inevitable expiration date. It feeds their sadness even more knowing that there's not an easy-way-out to forget things. You can't skip the process and speed up time.

I guess I wrote this because I'm so tired of the entire boy-grinds-with-girl scene knowing that anything that propagates from this is barren. Don't force it. Love will come back.

To my dearest subscriber:

Hello Miss Beautiful,

         You know I'll be spending most of my night studying non-stop. I have to apologize for not being able to allot time for you tonight. I hope you understand. I was happy you uttered "I love you" just as I saw you off at Cam's car. Take care of the heneral's coat. You can wear it to sleep! hoho. I love you.

Pull Me Closer to Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0CzCQFKORM

"Pull me closer to love."


Never did i want to involve myself in this complicated "partnership." You give me so many reasons to win such a debate. You told me: "Don't you think the happiness is all worth the hurt in the end," - even before we were together. Now we are.

Genuine

           Your first time to have a public picture


I know i know, we look fucking good together. You're probably the only person who goes over my blog so it gives me enough reason to post gay photos S2 Don't you think we look perfect darling!

✿❀♥Girlfriend is French♥❀✿

Je t'aime mi amor 

You're probably taller than me here.

You hacked me and yet i still love u! Damn our cute souls

Parfait l'amour

It's the first picture I posted on this blog. I know i look sedated but I'd prefer to look imperfect just as long as you're there next to me rather than look charming without you in it. I bet people are gonna say I'm gay for posting pictures let alone blogging. Damn.

Oh the Irony

Explicitly written on all my recent posts is the undeniable irony of my initial intent for making a blog. The purpose of this blog is now the complete opposite as proof of my entries. I loathe all those who pour and advertise their heartaches and angst whether or not it's to harbor pity from others. Despite also riding on this bandwagon of hate, I've learned that it's healthy writing about all sorts of dilemma such as the qualms and anger experienced daily. Excessively writing about this however irritates me to the bone. Maybe I should hate myself for doing the same. Oh the irony. I guess keeping the balance between my personal ups and downs is regarded to be my remedy for this ironic predicament.

Shoelace

Intrepidity is nothing without purpose. In the same sense, love is abstract and probably one-sided if you share shallow and superficial reasons for your partner. We may never find out what the future holds for us if we don't try. Attempting to makes it worthwhile and purposeful each day.

Cowardly Remorse

Although there are countless words left unspoken between us, variably due to cowardice, shame or remorse, i have to be honest that i feel restrained to how i should act around. Maybe it's not the right time to talk but I'm sure someday it will be.

I know my reputation and its pallid color. I hope to be criticized because i guess - i know i deserve to be treated as such. I'm sorry this apology is practically indirect and futile.